Places I'd rather forget
by Ascendant Angel
Summary: Formaly Curling up inside my private tortures. An illness causes Harper to flash back to his past. Rated R for dark conent of flash backs.
1. Places I'd rather forget

> **Places I'd rather forget**  
  
Disclaimer: You know I don't own the show by now need I say it again? Inspiration for this story comes from just about every decent fic I've ever read with special mention to Raven and Parisindy.  
  
**_Chapter one: Places I'd rather forget  
_**  
"The infections overwhelming him I've tried every antibiotic we have nothings working. I don't know what else to do. We're losing him!"  
  
"There must be something! You have to try something else. You can't let him die!"  
  
"These nothing else to try."  
  
You can't just give up! Don't let him die! Please don't let him die."  
  
He could hear their voices but they sounded so far away; he could tell they were upset, desperate and pleading even, but he couldn't make out the words the pain blocked them out. Were they talking about him? He thought so. He tried to concentrate but the pain was too great and he felt his consciousness slipping back to the place he'd rather forget.  
  
"_Don't hurt me, please don't hurt me." The small boy whimpered but it was no use the pain was unrelenting and never ending.  
  
"You have to lean the consequences of your actions kludge" boomed the voice.  
  
"I won't do' it again, I swear" pleaded the boy.  
  
"No I don't think you've learned your lesson yet" said the Neitzschean as he swung his arm down bone blades slicing though the boys delicate skin again and again sending waves of agonising pain through his body.  
  
"I wont do' it again" the boy stammered, he was barley old enough to string a sentence together, the child wasn't even sure what he had done.  
  
His parent's found him an hour later curdled in a ball still murmuring "please don't hurt me" they barley recognised him; his face was nothing but a swollen bloody mess and his blond hair was streaked though with even more blood. "Seamus" his mother whispered kissing the top of his head and slowly rocking her child back and forth trying to comfort him.  
_  
  
Dam this thing's itchy today thought Harper as he scratched at his port yet again. He peered in the mirror the skin round his port was red and swollen "Shit" he muttered "that doesn't look good." I'll have to remember to drop by med deck and have Trance take a look later he thought not relishing the idea.  
  
He never got the chance; just as he finally managed to drag him self to the doors of the med lab the ship rocked from weapons fire; Harper was almost relived now he had an excuse not to step through those dreaded doors.  
  
Harper spent the rest of the day on repairs he felt kind of dizzy but he did his best to ignore it, he also felt cold, he shivered, a sure sign he had a fever he knew the signs well enough by now, but still he chose to ignore that too and continue working. He hadn't time to be sick when slipstream was down and the bad guys were looking for them.  
  
When Harper failed to report in several hours later Dylan had asked Rommie were he was; she had said sensors were down but he was last in the slip core trying to repair it; and that was were they found him unconscious but writhing in pain on the floor.  
  
Beka ran over to him he was so pale; she bent over and stroked his blond hair "Hay shortie it's gona be alright" she said unsure wither she was trying to reassure Harper or herself.  
  
Dyan carried him to med deck and laid him gently on a bed Trace administered an analgesic but his writing never stopped. When it finally did hours later Beka had to check he was still breathing.  
  
To be continued.....


	2. Holding hands I'm so sorry

> > **Places I'd rather forget**   
  
Disclaimer: As in part one  
  
**_Chapter 2: Holding hands- I'm so sorry  
_**  
"His data ports become infected" Beka heard Trance explain to the group that had gathered around the bed of their friend. She continued listening numbly as Trance explained that because Harper's port was a direct link with his brain this was very bad she didn't know what effects it could have but they weren't going to be good. He may get worse before he gets better she warned them, but he would get better she assured them once the antibiotics started working.  
  
Trance had told everyone to get some rest but Beka had been unable to move from his bedside. Trance seemed to understand this and let her be.  
  
All night Beka sat by his bed side watching his chest slowly rise and fall afraid to take her eyes away encase the very action might change that. At least he seemed more peaceful now; she had hated to see him suffering like that and hated even more that there was nothing she could do to stop it; nothing she could do to take his pain away.  
  
Beka dimly acknowledged Trance still working in the background she too had never left quietly monitoring her results. Beka noticed her frown deepen as the night progressed but Trance had insisted that everything was ok; the antibiotics just weren't working as quick as she'd hoped.  
  
Beka was about to question her further when Harper began to thrash about again she tried to comfort him but his moans continued "Trance cant you do some thing?" Beka cried. "I've tried every analgesic we have on board" Trance explained "but the infection is breaking them down before they even have a chance to work, I'm sorry Beka there's nothing more I can do to help."  
  
Beka looked a Harper with pain filled eyes he seemed so young and fragile laying there she stroked his hair and did her best to calm him.  
  
_Harper ran faster and faster as pushing his seven year old body beyond its limits; he glanced behind him and to his horror noticed his cousins were no longer behind him he frantically scanned for them taking a step back toward the carnage he was running from "Declan!" he called "Siobhan!" the only answer was the got was the sound of Magog getting ever closer.  
  
For a moment he was frozen in terror then he was running again and before he even knew what he was doing he had made it to the safety of his hide out; he curled up inside the hollowed tree trunk burying his head in his lap and cried.  
  
He didn't come out for two days and when he did he wished he hadn't his cousins lay side by side dead; then he saw there stomachs ripple and realised that they had not even been grated that fate theirs was far worse, they had become incubators for baby Magog. Harper had never seen an infested person before, his parent's had tried to shield him from that horror, but he knew his cousins were still awake and in constant agony as the Magog ate their way though them unable to even scream under the influence of the paralytic venom.  
  
Harper sat and held their hands looking into the terrified but frozen eyes of his cousins; I'm so sorry he cried over and over till some one came and took him away. He knew what the woman was there for but his young mind tried to block it out; still he knew he would never see his cousins alive again.  
  
_  
Beka watched as her friend suffered Harper had stopped thrashing about and had now curdled up, sobbing the same phrase over and over 'I'm so sorry', Beka was now sure he was having a nightmares of some kind but she could do nothing to stop them. In a desperate attempt to calm her friend she climbed up on the bed beside Harper and held her sobbing friend rocking him gently doing her best to comfort him and send him on to more peaceful dreams, eventually she felt him relax in her arms then she too fell asleep.  
  
Trance watched her sleeping friends laying a spare blanket over Beka. How could she tell her the antibiotics weren't working she'd already tried three to no effect the infection seemed to destroy every drug it encountered.  
  
Buy morning Trance had tried over a third of the ships antibiotics she could put it off no longer she gently woke Beka and called the others to med deck.  
  
"He not responding to antibiotics I've tried over half the ships supply now and nothing works the infection destroys them almost instantly; I'm still trying but the infection is getting worse affecting more areas of his brain it's already affecting the memory centre causing vivid night mares from what I can tell. Next..."  
  
Trance fell silent she appeared chocked up which was not something Dylan was not used to especially since her change. He could tell that there was more thought he dread what it might be he said the words any way "Go on" Trance did her best to gather her strength and went on "Due to the infection Harper's brain is starting to swell I'm worried if it continues his intercrainal pressure will raise high enough to limit the blood supply to his brain essentially depriving it of oxygen" "Won't that cause brain damage" Beka cut in. "Yes" answered Trance sadly.  
  
Every one visited Harper that day while Trance continued to try different antibiotics and combinations. Still nothing worked and Harper slipped into a coma.  
  
To be continued...


	3. A kind of numbness

> **Places I'd rather forget  
**  
Authors note: Thanks for all the reviews and iamari no this is not going to become Harper/Beka romance.  
  
**_Part 3: A kind of numbness_**  
  
Rommie could have monitored Harper over sensors still it wasn't the same so her android persona sat watching him, talking to him, wishing for him to wake up, but for all her mighty power as a warship she could do little but watch and wait.  
  
She knew things weren't going well she'd been working on therapy routines with Trance but they had yet to find one that worked and were almost out of options. This morning she asked the Perseid's and every other advanced race for help she was still waiting for the data to filter in; she hoped she'd find some thing of use; she and Harper had promised to fix each other and she had no intention of letting him down.  
  
Harpers thrashing had stopped now but Rommie could tell even in a coma his nightmares continued she held his hand as another overtook him.  
  
_The resistance meeting had finished late and it was dark now; he hurried though the streets staying as far away from the shadows as possible the slavers came out after dark and Seamus did not intend on getting caught.  
  
It started to rain and thunder clapped around him; he began to regret telling Brendon that at 11 he was more than old enough to look after him self. He'd have to get home soon his parents would be worried, he'd snuck out as they'd said he was to young to go to meetings; no one seemed to realise he was 11!  
  
As he turned the corner he realised with relief that he was almost home but relief was short lived as a young Neitzchean appeared from no were. He didn't look all that much older than Seamus far to young to be a slaver but Neizcheans that age tended to feel they have something to prove that made them dangerous, very dangerous.  
  
"Its past your curfew kludge" the Neitzchean spat "ill have to teach you a lesson for that" Seamus broke into a run but he was caught easily. The beating seemed to last for ever but he became numb to the pain after a while.  
  
When the blows finally stopped Seamus assumed the play session was over and he would be allowed to leave, he was not, nor was he prepared for what came next. "On your knees kludge" boomed the voice above him; he complied assuming he was to be made to beg for his freedom he realised he was wrong when the Neitzchean dropped his pants; the Neitzchean stared at him "You do know what to do boy don't you?" 11 didn't feel all that old anymore and while he knew what the man wanted he wasn't all that sure he did know how but it seems the Neitzchean was quite happy to explain exactly what he wanted him to do in fact if anything he seemed more pleased than before; Seamus fought the urge to throw up.  
  
When the Neitzchean let out a groan he assumed he had done what he wanted he turned away "Not so fast kludge I haven't finished with you" demanded the voice He found him self pushed to the ground his tormentor then he felt his pants torn off as he was flipped roughly over on to his stomach 'please no' he whispered realising what was coming next.  
  
When in was over he lay whimpering and bleeding on the ground he didn't feel the rain as it continued its torrential down poor he didn't even feel his fathers hands as he lifted his son up and gently carried him home many hours later. He didn't even feel the pain anymore all that remained was a kind of numbness mixed with shame and humiliation.  
  
_  
When Rommie sensed the nightmare was over see went to talk to Trance "Any change?" she asked. "Harper's brain is continuing to swell with the infection and with the raised intercrainal pressure I'm finding it hard to keep his brain well oxygenated" Trance replied "At the moment I'm only treating symptoms I need to treat the cause 'the infection itself' but I've tried every antibiotic we have and he's not responded to any of them, I've never this him so ill before Rommie; I really think we may lose him this time." With the words out Trance began to sob, Rommie had never seen Trance cry before not even when she was purple, she hugged her friend and Trance dissolved into tears on her shoulder and Rommie realised that she too was crying.  
  
The tray of food she was carrying crashed to the floor as Beka stepped though the door to take in the sight of her two friends crying; she rushed over "NO!" she cried convinced he'd died; tears flowing down her own face. Rommie turned away from Trance to comfort her other friend "No, it's ok" she said "its bad but he's not dead" "not yet" she added softly and soon all three girls stood hugging each other and sobbing.  
  
Rommie received an update from her mainframe some data that she requested this morning had come in; it looked promising. She informed the others. "The Perseid's have sent us some data on a new super bug that they've encountered it sounds similar to Harpers problems they've been working on a new antibiotic to treat it but research is incomplete, I have all ready asked for more data." Rommie said she did not add the part of the report where the super bug was responsible for several deaths on Sinti.  
  
The data came back and Rommie and Trance were able to confirm that Harper had indeed somehow caught the super bug but the Perseid's had not finished working on a cure they were close but something was missing. Andromeda set a course for Sinti may be working together they could complete the cure. It wasn't much but it was all they had.  
  
To be continued...  
  
AN: Callie-Cat, Not much less of a cliff hanger I'm afraid but at least it was a quick update :D


	4. Protection

**Places I'd rather forget**  
  
**_Part 4: Protection_**  
  
As the ship sped to Sinti Dylan paced command though he desperately wanted it there was nothing else to do, and with nothing to do all he could think of was how he'd failed to protect a member of his crew and how Harper now lay dieing in med bay because of it. It wasn't really his fault and on some level he knew that though he couldn't help feeling responsible anyway; it was his job as captain to keep his crew safe and he'd failed. He knew Harper was vulnerable to infection he should have sent someone else or made sure Harper had taken his immune boosters but he didn't.  
  
Dylan went to med deck to see Harper at least he could be there for him now. As he watched Harpers still form he thought of all the times Harper had saved them from destruction including this latest were he had almost literally worked him self to death; he thought sadly how that still might be.  
  
To his astonishment Dylan realised he couldn't ever remember saying thanks, not once had he stopped to say well done to the young man, ok perhaps he had once or twice but it was far less than the young man now lying in front of him deserved. He vowed to change that so although he was not so good at this kind of thing he sat down next to Harpers bed and began to tell him how sorry he was for taking him for granted, and how he appreciated all he had done; most of it above and beyond the call of duty.  
  
Though Harper couldn't hear the words on a conscious level some how a vague impression of their meaning imprinted itself upon him, and all though Dylan couldn't know this, they helped ease the pain of the scene now running though his head.

_He watched as the door was ripped off its hinges "Go hide" his mother said so he did.  
  
"We've come for the child named Seamus" a voice boomed.  
  
"He's not here" his mother replied.  
  
"Your lying" stated the Uber sending a swing at his mother bone blades slicing though her delicate skin causing a cascade of crimson fluid down her face.  
  
"No we're not" his father stated we lost Seamus a few days ago to a sickness please leave your upsetting my wife."  
  
"Don't lie to me Kludge, I know he's here." The Nietzschean began to tear up the place destroying their few possessions.  
  
"If you continue to protect the boy you will die" the voice stated.  
  
"He's not here" insisted his father for which he too received a viscous blow. Seamus watched the whole event safe in his hollowed out pit beneath the house the small view plate was splattered with blood, but it did little to protect him from the scene unfolding above him.  
  
The Uber continued to ransack their tiny home, unaware of the hideaway, the wooden heart his father had carved for his mother many years ago went flying though the air falling into the tiny fire place and burning his mother tried to rescue it but the Uber held her hands in the flames; though the pain was unbearable she did not cry out she refused to give him that satisfaction "I want the boy his skills will prove useful to us" His mother could not speak so his father said it for her.  
  
"Never" had his father not been standing on the exit of his hideaway Seamus would have tried to stop what happened next but he suspected that was his fathers intention. The Nietzschean picked up his mother like a rag doll and threw her at the wall her neck snapped on impact even in his basement hideaway Seamus could hear the sound and knew it would haunt his dreams for the rest of his life.  
  
Seamus watched helpless as his father drove at the Nietzschean who with lightning fast reflexes pulled out a knife and slit his fathers throat that scene too he would never forget. When it was over and he had cried all the tears he had to spare Seamus left his childhood home planning never to return again as he sought the solace of his now only surviving family member Brendan.  
  
"Seamus what happened" cried Brendan when he caught sight of his cousin.  
  
"Don't call me that" snapped Seamus I don't ever want to hear that name again!"  
  
"Seamus I don't understand"  
  
"Harper" snapped this cousin "I told you I don't want to hear that name again and I meant it; it reminds me of them and that hurts too much to bare."  
  
And once again Harper broke down. The only words clear amongst the sobs were slavers and their dead.  
  
Brendan didn't need to ask who 'they' were or what happened as the awful reality began to dawn on him. Sadly it happened every day to some poor family; slavers came to take loved ones away and those that resisted died._

_  
_  
The ship shock as it exited slip stream finally they had made it to Sinti.

Part 5 comming soon


	5. Kiss me

**Places I'd rather forget**

**_Part 5: Kiss me _**

Once on Sinti the crew all helped with the research; well Dylan mainly stood around trying to look important because the research was well over his head, he called it supervising the research effort. Had Harper not been the unwilling subject of all this effort he would have called it getting in the way. Beka mainly helped by threatening to kill people if they didn't work faster but at least she made coffee in between.

Things were now looking slightly brighter, the Perseids had a revolutionary new technique for lowering intercranial pressure and keeping the brain well oxygenated; they had brought Harper some more time with this, but it wouldn't last forever. Now Trance and Rommie were running and analyzing samples of new antibiotics; progress was slow they had succeeded in creating a sample that would kill the bacteria unfortunately it would also kill any other organic substance too, so there was still a lot of work to do.

On board Andromeda, Rommie's hologram watched over Harper.

_He hadn't moved for days he wouldn't leave her side, she was weakening now he knew it even as he convinced himself she would recover, the moments of consciousness were just mere glimpse's now and her fever refused to stay down._

_He stroked her hair, her eyes flickered open and she saw the tears in his eyes _

"_Don't be sad" she said "I'm going some were better"_

"_No, don't go, I need you"_

"_I have to" she replied "my time has come"_

"_But I love you" he protested _

"_I love you too but its time for me to go now and neither you or me can stop that it's just the way it is" her voice sounded weaker little more than a whisper he had to lean in closer to hear her._

"_I'm glad I met you, you made this life seem worth it" she said._

_His tears began to fall more heavily now and some splashed on her face; she reached out a hand to caress his face._

"_Kiss me" she said._

_He bent down further and softly touched his lips to hers, her eyes fell shut and he realised she had gone. _

Trance searched the probability strings looking for a way forward she could see two clear futures but not the paths towards them that usually meant the situation was beyond her control. She simply had to do her best and hope for the best outcome.

Not being able to use her gift to help her Trance had to draw on her own talents she hoped it would be enough. She had lived a future with out Harper and had no wish to return to that place yet now she had formed the memory she could not quell it and thoughts rushed unbidden to her mind. For a moment she allowed her self to grieve for her fallen friends though in this reality they still lived she had lived with the pain of their deaths for to long to forget she said a payer for each of them and hoped she didn't have to repeat it for this reality she couldn't bear to live with their loses again. Harpers death almost killed her last time this time it might.

Trance went back to the andromeda to work to remind her that Harper was still alive and so hope still remained for her perfect possible future.

As Trance watched Harper she thought about him and the times they'd spent together she'd helped him with a few repairs and some of his engineering projects, it happened less now which she regretted, but in the beginning they did almost everything together. She'd helped him with the FMS and the temporal transporter she'd also helped him create the Nanobots to clean the hull of andromeda up after an attack, she'd been good at that because she was used to dealing with Nanobots they had many medical uses.

A thought hit Trace and jolted her pack to the present she couldn't believe she hadn't thought of if before: Nanobots.

Of course Trance had injected Harper with extra shots of Nanobots to help boost his own immune system to fight the infection but so far it had had no effect; the infection was overwhelming and bacteria rapidly replicating and had so far destroyed all antibiotics introduced to his system before they had a chance to work.

Trance wondered if she'd been taking the wrong approach all this time. Maybe the antibiotics weren't the problem maybe she just needed a better way to get them into his system before the bacteria had a chance to destroy them.

Trance thought she may just have found that way: she could use Nanobots to carry the antibiotic, like a kind of piggy back, protecting them from attack. The more Trance thought about the idea the more she was convinced it may just work; of course she'd have to flood Harper's body with 10 times the normal volume of Nanobots due to the severity of the infection, but if they outnumbered the bacteria there was no reason why it shouldn't work.

Trance realised all this time she'd been thinking purely of the biological skipping over the idea of augmenting the biological with the technological. In her future this had not worked out well for Beka, but this was another reality and it was Harper not Beka lying on a bio bed she needed to account for those changes it could well lead to a more positive outcome. Suddenly the probabilities opened up in her head and she knew this was the right course to take. Maybe her perfect possible future wasn't to much to ask for.

As Trance headed back to the planet to tell the Perseids of her theory Harper had another flashback to one more of the places he'd rather forget.

_The first thing that hit him along with consciousness was pain, pain like he hadn't felt before. Next the terror hit him; he was held firmly to a wall in what could only be the Maggog world ship then he felt 'them' squirming inside him and his feelings went beyond simple terror into some indescribable horror. _

_Harper was both comforted and saddened to find he was not alone Tyr was with him. As they hung there awaiting their fate they both shared some secrets which somehow eased his fear; then he heard their salvation and they were safe at last. _

_When he awoke next for a few glorious seconds he managed to convince himself it was all some horrible nightmare, but the nightmare soon refused to end. _

_He felt so low just wanting to end it all so he didn't have to deal with the horror of his life anymore after all he'd been though on Earth he shouldn't have to go though this now but it seemed life just hadn't finished using Seamus Harper as a favourite play toy. _

_Rommie's timely arrival reminded him that he still had something to live for he was thankful for that; they promised to fix each other and that was a promise he would never brake._

_The next few months were hard at times but he tried to stay positive for the sake of the crew more than anything else. _

_When the end came Seamus Harper was terrified more terrified than he'd ever been, but not for him, no, he was scared for the life of his friends, he didn't want to be responsible for their deaths he couldn't bare that, that's why he made Tyr promise. Even so he knew the pain that living with his death would cause them, cause Beka, that's why he wouldn't give up. But Harper had seen this first hand before on Earth, the images forever scarred into his mind, he knew what was going to happen to him, he didn't think the others could truly understand not even Rommie. _

_When Harper found the end didn't come it was still a piercing blow for now he was responsible for the death of a great mind. _

The crew gathered round the bed of their friend as Trance prepared to try her last hope to save the life of her friend. She was sure this was the right choice still her closeness' to Harper made her doubt her self what if this didn't work?

Trance injected the Nanobots into Harper's blood stream now all she could do was Hope and pray monitoring Harper for signs of improvement.

At last Trance saw what she was looking for the modified Nanobots were waging war against the infection and winning, it looked like this was going to work, Trance allowed herself a small smile; this did not go unnoticed and soon Trance found herself under integration by Beka.

A few hours later Harper found himself opening his eyes to take in the smiling faces of his crew mates; no sooner had he done this when he found Beka launching herself into his arms hugging him tightly, he hugged her back a little confused by Beka's forthright show of emotion, 'just how sick was I?' he thought only realising he'd said the words out loud when Beka said she thought she'd lost him this time, and he was never to be allowed near a planet ever again.

'Oh boy' though Harper, suspecting that arguing the point would be futile, and it would be a very long time before he managed to get planet side again.

For once life was kind to Harper and he had no memory of the nightmares he had relived while sick; only the feeling of having visited his past remained and strangely this comforted him more than anything else, as he had the strangest feeling he'd got to see his family and friends once again.

The only nightmare that bothered Harper that night was the thought of Beka blocking his way off the ship, and there for his access to all the hot chicks on whatever planet they visited next. I hope all the pretty babes come to the ship instead or I may remain dateless forever he thought.

The end.

Sorry for the wait in posting this part hope you liked it.


End file.
